Track the course of the disease through every child the best we can, and learn from our mistakes. Finding a cure is going to depend on the data in your hands. Nurse Hardy pointed at Kiras papers. Fail to record it, and this child died for nothing. Kira nodded again, numbly straightening the papers in her manila folder.
The head nurse turned away, but Kira tapped her on the shoulder; when she turned back, Kira didnt dare to look her in3. Excuse me, maam, but if the doctors done with the body, could Ariel hold it? Just for a minute? Nurse Hardy sighed, weariness cracking through her grim, professional facade. Look, Kira, she said. I know how quickly you breezed through the training program. You clearly have an aptitude for virology and RM analysis, but technical skills are only half the job.
You need to be ready, emotionally, or the maternity ward will eat you alive. Youve been with us for three weeksthis is your tenth dead child. Its my nine hundred eighty-second.
She paused, her silence dragging on longer than Kira expected. Youve just got to learn to move on. Kira looked toward Ariel, crying and beating on the thick glass window. I know youve lost a lot of them, maam. Kira swallowed. But this is Ariels first. Nurse Hardy stared at Kira for a long time, a distant shadow in her eyes.
Finally she turned. Another young nurse, who was carrying the tiny body to the door, looked up. Unwrap the baby, said Nurse Hardy. Her mother is going to hold her. Kira finished her paperwork about an hour later, just in time for the town hall meeting with the Senate. Marcus met her in the lobby with a kiss, and she tried to put the long nights tension behind her.
Marcus smiled, and she smiled back weakly. Life was always easier with him around. They left the hospital, and Kira blinked at the sudden burst of natural sunlight on her exhausted eyes. The hospital was like a bastion of technology in the center of the city, so different4. The worst of the mess had been cleaned up, of course, but the signs of the Break were still everywhere, even eleven years later: abandoned cars had become stands for fish and vegetables; front lawns had become gardens and chicken runs.
A world that had been so civilizedthe old world, the world from before the Breakwas now a borrowed ruin for a culture one step up from the Stone Age.
The solar panels that powered the hospital were a luxury most of East Meadow could only dream of. Kira kicked a rock in the road. I dont think I can do this anymore. You want a rickshaw? The coliseums not that far. I dont mean walk, said Kira, I mean thisthe hospital, the infants. My life. She remembered the eyes of the nurses, pale and bloodshot and tiredso very tired. Do you know how many babies Ive watched die?
Personally watched, right there, right in front of me. Marcus took her hand. Its not your fault. Does it matter whose fault it is? Theyre just as dead. No one has saved a child since the Break, said Marcus, no one. Youre a three-week intern in there. You cant beat yourself up for not doing something even the doctors and researchers havent been able to do. Kira stopped, staring at him; he couldnt be serious. Are you trying to make me feel better?
Because telling me its impossible to save a babys life is a really stupid way of doing it. You know thats not what I mean, said Marcus. Im just saying its not you, personally.
RM killed those children, not Kira Walker. Kira glanced out across the widening turnpike. Thats one way of looking at it. The crowd was getting heavier now as they approached the coliseum; they might even fill it, which they hadnt done in months. Not since the Senate passed the latest amendment to the Hope Act, dropping the pregnancy age to eighteen.
Kira felt a sudden knot in her stomach and grimaced. What do you think the emergency meeting is about? Knowing the Senate, something boring. Well get a seat by the door so we can slip out if Kessler goes off on another tirade. You dont think itll be important? It will at least be self-important, said Marcus. You can always rely on the Senate for that.
He smiled at her, saw how serious she was, and frowned. If I had to guess, Id say theyre going to talk about the Voice. The word in the lab this morning was that they attacked another farm this week. Kira looked at the sidewalk, studiously avoiding his eyes. You dont think theyre going to lower the pregnancy age again?
So soon? It hasnt even been nine months yetI dont think theyd drop it again before the eighteen-yearolds even come to term. They would, Kira said, still looking down. They would, because the Hope Act is the only way they know how to deal with the problem. They think if we have enough babies, one of thems bound to be resistant, but it isnt working, and it hasnt worked for eleven years, and getting a bunch of teenagers6. She let go of Marcuss hand. Its the same thing in the hospital: They take care of the moms, they keep everything sterile, they record all the data, and the infants are still dying.
We know exactly how theyre dying we know so much about how theyre dying it makes me sick just to think about itbut we know absolutely nothing about how to save them. We get a bunch of new girls pregnant, and all were going to have are more dead babies and more notebooks full of the same exact statistics for how those babies died.
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